Tuesday, April 7, 2015

#30PhotosInBetween: My Pets

I know that people get irritated when childless people refer to their pets as their "children."

But, y'all, it's true.

I don't have kids.

I don't want kids.

But by god I am going to be that lady pushing my dog around in a little covered dog stroller when she gets older.

Because, honestly, loving a pet is big deal.

I'm fortunate that I have two little furry creatures to love, and who (most of the time) love me back.

So how did I end up with these weirdos?

It all started in 2008.

I was living in Fayetteville, Arkansas at the time, by myself. I had dropped out of law school (really good decision) and moved a few times (really bad decisions) and I was living in a tiny apartment while working at a bank and waitressing at night.

My mom called and told me that her best friend's dad had found a tiny kitten, abandoned, and that his mom and all his siblings were dead. My mom's best friend (who I generally call my aunt, but this is already a confusing story) couldn't keep him because her cat was/is kind of evil (but cute!). So...I was getting him.

I absolutely did not want a cat.

But, I got a cat.


Sometimes other people DO know what's best for you.

So I got this tiny orange furball. He didn't know how to eat real food, or how to use a little box, or really how to be a cat. But he was cute. So I named him Oliver and we settled in.

See the resemblance?

After he stopped chewing on my cords, and after he destroyed my favorite pair of grey silk heels, and after he escaped one night and hid in the neighbor's trash can, Oliver and I got along, for the most part just fine.

He likes beer!

He came with me when I moved to Memphis, and when I moved from my first apartment to my current one (although I was sure he was gone forever because he hid behind the stove for hours - he doesn't deal with change well). 

I've thrown him birthday parties, and he's infuriated me and soothed me, and he'll be 7 this October.

(The woman at Kroger said, "Oh I've always loved Oliver as a boy's name, tell your son happy birthday." Yeah.......)

And he's still a giant weirdo.

Oliver is, absolutely, more than enough pet for me. 

But I'm not really a cat person.

I grew up with dogs. 

With Gypsy, my mom's dog, and Shadow, my first dog, in 1991 or so. 

With Singer, a hound we had when I was young, who was freakishly smart. And protective. And who we're all pretty sure could have driven if she could have reached the pedals.

I love dogs.

I needed a dog.

Plus, my theory was that Oliver would calm down if he had a friend.

So I started looking for a dog.

Just kind of browsing at first, but then, on PetFinder, I happened across one of the weirdest, most awkward, cutest dogs I had ever seen.


She was at a rescue by my parents' house, so while I was home for Christmas in 2012, I scheduled an appointment to come meet her.

It was love at first sight.

I paid the woman her adoption fee, and the next day, I came back to get her.

(The day I adopted her - I'm holding a cheeseburger for her in the picture. Spoiled!)

(By the way, unless you are getting a dog for a specific working purpose - which is a whole different story - PLEASE do not buy from breeders. I get that you want a cute labradoodle or whatever, and those dogs ARE cute, but every time you buy a dog from a breeder, you're perpetuating the system of puppy mills, abusive and overcrowded breeding facilities, and the senseless euthanasia of millions of pets in shelters every year. Adopt, don't shop.)

And that's how I got Petunia.

Petunia, The Wonder Derp.

My mom told me "Let that sweet dog sleep under the covers with you, it's cold" and that's how I lost my bed and why everything I own is covered with basset hound fur.

She's my favorite road trip companion.

We have a lot in common, like our love of naps.

She gives fantastic "what the hell" looks.

She has an impeccable sense of style.

So regal.

(Oliver WILL wear clothes, but he doesn't like it, and it's hard to take pics of him in them!)

She, like Oliver, likes to read.

She and Oliver get along really well.

Maybe too well. 

I feel like this may happen at some point.

I'm serious, both of them really irritate me sometimes (Oliver, why can you not sleep somewhere other than on my feet? Why do you insist on playing in the sink and getting water everywhere? Petunia, why do you expand so far in bed that I end up on about 2 inches of bed? You're not hungry, why are you begging? Why do you smell like corn chips? Why are you making that noise?) but I don't think I really ever understood the kind of love parents talk about until I had these two.

So yeah. They're weird, and gross sometimes, and sometimes I want to shake them both, but I'm weird, and sometimes gross, and often irritating, and definitely one of "those" parents.

It's cheesy, but true.

They rescued me.

Honorable mention has to go to my parents' cat, Tuffy, who was my cat for awhile, but felt like my parents needed some orange cat in their lives. My parents have generally awesome pets (hi Mothra, Tupa, Buddy, Katie, and April!) and have had some really great pets that we've lost in the last few years (Sunflower, the haughtiest cat in the world and Lucy, the most well-behaved dog I've ever met), but Tuffy is...special.

He and Garfield are cut from the same cloth.

THAT is a cat that knows what's up.

Anyone else have ridiculous pets they love, but who also could be secret raptors?


  1. I am genuinely disappointed that you didn't include *THE* photo of Tuna ;) hahaha

    1. Haha, I totally forgot! Edited to add the picture of Tuna, The Wonder Derp. :)