Recipe: Lazy Girl's Stromboli Rolls

My mom makes, without a doubt, the world's best stromboli.

We're not Italian (except an incident hundreds of years ago in which a possibly related Crusader relative married an Italian girl, but that doesn't really count), and I grew up eating a lot of German and Irish foods, but this stromboli is one of her specialities.

My brother and I request it for pretty much every birthday, party, Tuesday, and event we can get away with.

But it's pretty labor intensive.

There's rolling out the bread dough, filling it, rolling it up, and baking it, all of which requires quite a bit of prep and a ton of counter space.

I have a tiny kitchen. Really. Anyone who's ever been to my house knows it's pretty small.

And I'm busy.

I have no time and no space.

And I really really really REALLY hate rolling out dough.

So when I get to craving stromboli, I make a super lazy version that takes about 30 minutes start to finish and tastes similar enough to get me through to the next time I can con my mom into making the "real" version for me.

This isn't even a real recipe. No measurements. No "have to" steps. Just lots of cheese.

I love cheese.

Obviously.

This is my life.

Anyway. Here's what you need:

Mozzarella cheese, cheddar cheese, garlic powder (NOT Garlic salt!), Italian seasoning, crescent rolls, red sauce (I'm a fan of the Newman's Own Sockarooni, but whatever you have is fine), pepperoni, and black olives. 

Also, Paul Newman was a fox: 

*via People.com

**And a really good guy. 

Of course, you could add mushrooms, peppers, onions, whatever, or take out the pepperoni, or add whatever kind of meat you wanted. This is just the basics of what I do - in the "real" version, my mom adds ham as well.

I also bake mine on a baking stone (like this one from Pampered Chef). I'm a huge fan of stones versus baking sheets for stuff like this - the cleanup is easier and they get crustier on the outside without burning. 

Lay out the rolls in rectangles. Basically just don't tear them into triangles. You could use any kind of dough here too, I'm just lazy and these are what I had. Put some Italian seasoning on each one.

Next spread some of the sauce on each piece. You want to get the sauce mostly in the middle, since you're going to be rolling these and pinching the sides in. I don't like a ton of sauce, but, again, do what you do!

 Then start the layers. I do cheddar cheese, black olives...

...mozzarella cheese, pepperoni, more mozz, and then a sprinkling of garlic powder and Italian seasoning. 

Then roll them up!

*Naked mole rat crescents. :/

They will gap a little at the top - just pinch the dough together. Same with the ends. 

And then, because you love cheese and want to make it look like there isn't a giant seam running across the top, apply a mozzarella bandage!

Or just be a normal human being and sprinkle some mozz, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning on top. 

I follow the directions on the crescent rolls (375, 12-14 minutes) but usually end up adding a couple of minutes. On the stone, things burn less easily on the bottom, so you basically want to wait until you get the cheese browning at the top and a nice golden color on the rolls. You're not cooking anything really, just heating it up. 

Like so: 

*Also, I did mention that the cups were everywhere in my house.

**AND YUM.

Let it sit for a couple of minutes, either on the pan or on the plate. If you cut into it immediately you'll just get a runny mess. This is a good time to get a drink, put in the brownies you also made (from the small amount of batter you didn't eat...), or whatever.

Then you get this:

*Perfect cheese tail.

So yeah, these aren't high class, and they certainly aren't fancy, but they're good, filling, and easy. And sometimes that's just all you can do. 

Also, they're good leftover. Which is an even lazier recipe. 

OOTD: Fall, Leggings as Pants, and LOTR

When I did my last Dishcrawl (Soul Food!) I needed something comfy to wear that was warm enough for the fall but cool enough that I would be fine on a bus and in restaurants. 

Enter the saga of leggings as pants. 

And Lord of the Rings. 

This post sums up my feelings on leggings as pants, which is basically that LEGGINGS are fine as pants, but tights are not, and if you are wearing leggings as pants, you need to cover up your bits. 

This is bad: 

*Olivia Wilde, no. Cover up your bits.

This is worse: 

*Because, well, these are tights. Not leggings. And they don't cover anything. Anyone who knows me knows that I think the term "modesty" is awful and contributes to slut shaming and rape culture, but good lord Paris. Not cute. 

This is fine, however: 

*Via Fish on Bikes, which is awesome.

**Also, the idea that some things are "right" and some are "wrong" when it comes to dressing yourself makes me crazy. I mostly think you should wear longer shirts with leggings because sometimes lady parts + leggings = not looking so good, but I don't think it's WRONG. Like when people think it's "wrong" to wear white after Labor Day - it's not "wrong" it's just a personal preference. Do what you want, but don't be all judgy on other people. 

Let's face it. We all have days when the very thought of putting on "real" pants is intolerable. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's good etiquette to dress well, it makes you feel better, and it's just polite for other people, but if you can do that and be comfy, even better. 

So, since all my bits were covered and I wasn't wearing tights, I decided this outfit was safe: 

*Not the best picture, but I was in a hurry. 

Tank: Maurices/Top: Old Navy/Leggings: Old Navy (the best ones I've ever owned)/Boots: Lane Bryant (bizarrely...)/Scarf: Etsy

So everything else is pretty standard, but let's talk about this scarf for a second. 

My mom got it for me for my birthday last year, and I love it. 

Because it's a map of Middle Earth infinity scarf. 

*It tends to get a little more twisted than in this picture, but not too bad. 

The actual scarf isn't available anymore, but it came from Nerd Alert on Etsy.

If I wear this outfit again, I'll probably wear a darker denim shirt (laundry day...) because this one is a little light for me. I wore it with a leather bomber jacket and got a ton of compliments, both at Dischcrawl and at the bar afterwards.

Anyone else have thoughts on leggings as pants? 

Memphis Nosh: Central BBQ

My mom, little brother (okay he's 21, but still my little brother), and his girlfriend came to Memphis a few weeks ago to spend the day with me. We went to the zoo and then we were STARVING.

Logically, we went to Central BBQ.

I'm definitely a Central girl. Yeah, some people like the Barbeque Shop (good fries, good food,, abysmal service), or the Germantown Commissary (really good, but so far away from me), or Corky's (generally meh, but some people love it), or Rendezvous (i.e. tourists) but I've lived here long enough to have a definite opinion. And that opinion is right. And delicious.

It's Central.

It doesn't hurt that Central is on my way home from school. And like 2 miles from my house. And so convenient. And cheap. And...well you get the point.

*Via Wikimedia.

The location I go to most, pictured above, is on Central Avenue in Midtown Memphis. The parking lot is a little challenging, but I've never not been able to park, even when it's crazy. They have a pretty big dining room and a massive patio. And now they have one of those UofM tigers out front. (They also have a location on Summer and one Downtown.)

There's often a line, so they very helpfully put their menu up outside too: 

*It smells so good outside that really you just want to lick the window. Don't. That's gross. 

*They also have some great signs on the side windows. 

Here's the full menu: 

*So let's just have real talk for a second. There is nothing on this menu I wouldn't eat, except beans, but that's not Central's fault. Beans are gross. 

But really. I can't see anything that doesn't look good. And I've eaten almost everything there.

I tend to get the same thing every time, or at least close to the same thing: the pork plate with a bun (no slaw - the one thing I don't get about Memphis is this slaw ON your sandwich thing. Just no.) and usually chips and mac and cheese.

*As you can see, this is not a small portion. This is from awhile ago. 

*A better picture that shows two things. This is still way too much food for one person, and the level of consistency is insane. 

Also this is like $11. And is easily 2 meals. EASY.

Now, there are some secrets. Like the Starbucks secret menu, there are tricks to maximizing your Central experience. 

1. If you get the nachos (DO IT), get them with the housemade chips (like above). So good. 

2. If you get anything, get the chips. 

3. If you don't get the chips with your meal, buy a bag. 

4. Amber + Chips 4LYFE.

Ahem. 

Anyway. 

Another thing I do is get the mac and cheese and put pepper and the dry rub seasoning on it. So good. 

One of the best things about Central (besides the amazing food and the great service and the awesome atmosphere and how cheap it is and how close it is to my house) are the cups. 

*Right now they're Memphis Tigers themed.

Even my roommate, who thinks I'm kind of a hoarder (guilty) and that we have too many cups, appreciates these ones. We take them to work, in the car, for cookouts, whatever - they never break, and if you lose one, well damn, guess you have to go to Central to replace it! 

Also, I can't be the only transplant to Memphis who thought "wow, I'm a Memphian now" when my plastic cups from Central, Gus's, Soul Fish, Young Avenue Deli, and various other places outnumbered my "real" cups, right? 

Central also does catering: 

And you can buy their sauces, rubs, and t-shirts in the store or online. 

I have this one because, of course: 

*Front

*Bahahaha. Yes, I'm a 15 year old boy. I've accepted it.

Now I'm hungry. Who wants to go get some Central with me over break? :)

OOTD: Fall Teaching

For those of you who don't know, I teach a class at UofM. 

And I love love LOVE teaching. 

I work in an office too, and it's fine, but I feel energized by teaching, and it's absolutely, along with research, my passion. 

In the fall though, there are a lot of issues to contend with. 

Brand new freshmen who don't know what syllabi are. 

Students who have a lot going on, whether because they're new or returning to school.

Lots of adjustment, especially to the source-based teaching I use (versus content-based lectures, which are boring and no one really learns from them) and the college experience in general. 

My own work, which doesn't get in the way of teaching, but is a consideration. 

But, maybe the hardest problem out of all of these: 

The damn Memphis weather. 

At various points this semester, it's gone from boots and a coat to sandals, short sleeves, and sundresses. 

(For example, this week it's going to be in the 70s today, then maybe snow this weekend. What the hell?)

*really?

Unfortunately, my building at school has had the heat on for weeks. 

So it's an oven. 

And the windows in my classroom don't stay open. 

And since I'm in my building from 8AM to 7PM on days I teach, I need comfortable and professional clothes that let me deal with this crazy weather/the oven I'm in all day.

Plus this is one of my favorite shirts: 

Shirt: JCP (years ago)/Tank: Target/Jeans: American Eagle/Shoes: Target

*Also, my hair is absolutely still wet. I promise it was dry by the time I actually got to work.

I really like these jeans, they're a dark denim boot cut that has a little stretch, but not so much that they stretch out. The top is structured and simple enough, I think, to look professional, but cool enough that I'm not sweating all over the place.

(Plus I'll never look any older than I am, and I'm that cool professor like Ted tries to be - example:)

I am Ted Mosby. I've accepted this.

And those shoes are so comfortable. Just basic, maybe $10 black flats from Target probably 6 years ago. I've worn them all over Arkansas, Memphis, Paris, Prague, London, Lisbon, Wisconsin, Utah, North Carolina, Virginia, and Missouri. 

And they are still in almost new condition. 

Seriously. 

I wore these like every day in Prague. 

Which looks like this: 

*Via this blog. Those cobblestones aren't messing around.

And this: 

*So basically rainy and hilly as hell. Beautiful, but good lord the hills. 

**I took these photos while catching my breath from the hike.

Moral of the story: Target flats will hold up forever. And are comfortable. And work in any weather situation. Or work situation.

Memphis Nosh: Casablanca

I'm back!

I successfully presented my prospectus (basically got up in front of my department and presented on my research topic for my dissertation) so now all I *have* to do is write my dissertation. So basically a book.

But I don't have to write it today.

(I'll post more about that I'm sure, so never fear, those of you fascinated by British history!)

Now that I'm thisclose to break, I have time to talk about a few things I've done the past few weeks.

My friend Amy (also an early modern historian - she studies Scotland) and I went to dinner with her son at Casablanca, a Middle Eastern/Moroccan restaurant here in Memphis.

*Via Urbanspoon. 

Casablanca is right on Poplar, in the same shopping center as Whole Foods and close to the Paradiso. So it's in a great spot for dinner before a movie, a quick lunch, or even just to pop in an buy some olive oil or to-go food.

Also, come on, it's named after the city that was the setting for one of the greatest movies of all time:



But really:



Of course, I feel about the end sort of like Meg Ryan (eventually) does in When Harry Met Sally...

First, silly Meg Ryan is like:


When Harry Met Sally (1989) from Aitor Garcia on Vimeo.

Then of course, she realizes the error of her ways and sees that Ingrid Bergman absolutely should have stayed, and that Bogart was clearly the better choice, but that's another story.

When Harry Met Sally... is one of my top 10 favorite movies, so we can talk about that later.

On to the food!

Casablanca has a pretty extensive menu, and they sell a lot of merchandise as well:

*Can we just talk about how baklava might be the best food ever? I had a customer at the bank who would bring me homemade sometimes, and it was amazing. 

*ALSO HOLY SHIT A MIDTOWN LOCATION!?!?! IS THIS FOR REAL?

Also, they have a huge selection of olive oils: 

*Yes please.

Amy and I got the "Simple Favorite" to split. Basically it's feta, spicy sauce, and some of the best pita bread I've ever had: 

*So good.

*My plate. The pita was nice and warm, and not hard like a lot of places. 

We actually ended up ordering the same thing for dinner, the Beef and Lamb Shawerma. 

*These things are huge! Sorry about the poor photo quality - the lighting is pretty dim. 

This is basically beef and lamb with tomatoes, lettuce, onion, and a little sauce in a pita.

Yes. 

Just yes. 

My only complaint, and it's not even really a complaint, is that these are insanely difficult to eat. You can't pick it up because it's overstuffed, but cutting up a pita with a fork sucks. So they're giving you a ton of food for not a lot of money, but you can't look too graceful eating it. 

Other than that though, this is amazing. 

The beef and lamb are kind of tangy, cooked perfectly, and nice and juicy. I love red onions, and they add a good texture and taste. I think lettuce is kind of useless, but this wasn't an excess or anything, and wasn't noticeable. 

Next time I'm getting the Egyptian Hawawshi, which also looks amazing. 

Really everything is good, especially for the prices. My bill was $11 plus tax and tip, and I had a full meal worth of leftovers. 

And the restaurant is gorgeous: 

*When you walk in, it is a little awkward because there's no hostess stand, and we were there at kind of an odd time, but the small wait gave us time to look around a little. 

*Love the prints of Casablanca on the walls.

*Yeah, the thermostat is ugly, but I want those lamps!

I would definitely recommend Casablanca to anyone who likes Middle Eastern or North African food, especially on the cheap. This isn't cheap European street food (which is delicious in its own right) but it's good, reasonably priced food in a really comfortable atmosphere. 

And this happened, so you can be as cool as these guys: